Have you ever watched someone stay perfectly calm in a situation that would have most people pulling their hair out? I used to wonder what their secret was. Was it just good luck? Were they born that way? Or did they know something the rest of us don’t?
The Calm Life Method is not just another self-help concept. It’s a practical approach to living that anyone can learn. I’ve spent years observing the habits of incredibly calm people, and I’m excited to share what I’ve discovered with you today.
Life throws curveballs at all of us. Traffic jams when we’re already late. Unexpected bills. Arguments with loved ones. But some people seem to float through these storms while the rest of us get tossed around in the waves. The good news? Calmness isn’t some magical trait that only a lucky few are born with—it’s a skill that can be learned and practiced.
As James Allen wisely said, “The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good. Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom.”
Imagine waking up each morning feeling refreshed instead of anxious about the day ahead. Picture yourself handling workplace stress with grace instead of bringing it home with you. That’s what adopting the Calm Life Method can do for you.
Let me share with you the five key habits that super calm people practice daily. These aren’t complicated techniques requiring years of training—they’re simple shifts in how you approach everyday situations. And the best part? You can start using them today.
Habit 1: They Accept the Natural Chaos of Life
Have you ever noticed how some people seem unfazed by unexpected problems? While others blow up at the slightest inconvenience, truly calm people understand a fundamental truth: life is inherently chaotic.
I remember when my friend Sarah lost her job, her apartment, and went through a breakup all in the same month. While most would crumble under that pressure, she told me something I’ll never forget: “Life isn’t happening to me; it’s just happening. I can’t control most of it, but I can control how I respond.”
The novelist Henry Miller put it perfectly: “Chaos is the score upon which reality is written.” Super calm people don’t waste energy fighting against this reality. They understand that accepting chaos doesn’t mean giving up—it means working with life rather than against it.
How to Practice This Habit:
When something unexpected happens, try saying to yourself: “This is just part of life’s natural flow.” Notice how this small shift can immediately reduce your resistance and stress.
Start small. When you’re stuck in traffic, instead of gripping the wheel tighter and feeling your blood pressure rise, take a breath and remind yourself: “This is just one of those unpredictable parts of life.”
Remember, calm people aren’t calm because they never face problems—they’re calm because they’ve changed their relationship with those problems.
Habit 2: They Use the Power of Breath
The second habit might seem too simple to be effective, but it’s the cornerstone of the Calm Life Method. Super calm people have mastered the art of mindful breathing.
When my neighbor Tom, a former high-stress executive, now handles family emergencies with remarkable steadiness, I asked him his secret. “Before I do anything else,” he said, “I take three deep breaths. It’s like hitting a reset button on my nervous system.”
This isn’t just feel-good advice—it’s backed by science. Deep breathing activates your parasympathetic nervous system, which controls your body’s rest and digest functions. It literally changes your physiology from stress mode to calm mode.
The Simple Breathing Technique Calm People Use:
- Inhale slowly through your nose for a count of four, feeling your belly expand
- Hold your breath gently for a count of two
- Exhale completely through your mouth for a count of six
- Repeat three times
Dan Millman captured this beautifully when he said, “When in haste, rest in the present. Take a deep breath and come back to here and now.”
I’ve used this technique before important meetings, during difficult conversations, and even while stuck in endless lines at the grocery store. The effect is almost immediate—my shoulders drop, my mind clears, and I can approach the situation with fresh eyes.
Habit 3: They Let Go of Rigid Expectations
Have you ever noticed how the most stressed people are often those who insist things must go exactly according to plan? Meanwhile, the calmest among us seem to roll with whatever comes their way.
The Calm Life Method isn’t about lowering your standards—it’s about loosening your grip on exactly how things should unfold.
My friend Maria planned an outdoor birthday party for her daughter, complete with elaborate decorations and activities. When a surprise storm hit, most parents would’ve panicked. Instead, Maria quickly moved the party indoors, turned it into a “rainy day adventure,” and the kids had even more fun than they might have originally.
William James, the father of American psychology, once said, “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” This is exactly what calm people do—they choose flexibility over rigidity.
How to Practice Letting Go:
Start by identifying the areas in your life where you tend to be most inflexible. Is it your morning routine? Your expectations for how a conversation should go? Your plans for the weekend?
When making plans, try building in buffer time and alternative options. Instead of saying “We must have the perfect picnic at 1 pm on Saturday,” try “We’ll aim for a picnic on Saturday afternoon, and if the weather doesn’t cooperate, we’ll have an indoor movie day instead.”
Ask yourself: “Will this matter in five years?” If not, it might be a good candidate for practicing flexibility.
I used to get incredibly frustrated when my daily schedule got interrupted. Now I build in what I call “flex blocks”—time periods that can be repurposed if something unexpected comes up. This simple change has dramatically reduced my daily stress levels.
Habit 4: They Embrace Their Freedom to Choose
One of the most powerful habits of calm people is their recognition that in every moment, they have choices. This might sound obvious, but think about how often we say things like, “I have no choice” or “I have to do this.”
The French philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre put it boldly: “Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.”
I saw this principle in action when my colleague David was faced with an unreasonable deadline from his boss. Instead of immediately stressing or complaining that he had “no choice” but to work all weekend, he calmly considered his options: negotiate for more time, prioritize certain aspects of the project, delegate some tasks, or even accept that some parts might not be perfect. By recognizing he had choices, he felt empowered rather than victimized.
How to Incorporate This Habit:
Catch yourself when you use phrases like “I have to” or “I need to.” Replace them with “I choose to” and notice how it shifts your perspective.
When facing a difficult situation, take a moment to list out all possible responses—even ones that seem impractical at first. This expands your sense of freedom and control.
Remember that choosing your response—even if it’s just your mental response—is always within your power.
I’ve found this habit particularly helpful in dealing with family obligations. Instead of thinking, “I have to go to this family gathering,” I reframe it as “I’m choosing to go because I value my relationship with my family.” This simple shift makes me feel less resentful and more at peace with my decision.
Habit 5: They Align With Nature’s Rhythm
The final habit of super calm people might be the most profound: they understand and align themselves with the natural rhythms of life.
In our always-on, productivity-obsessed world, we often forget that humans are part of nature. We push ourselves to work at the same intensity regardless of the season, time of day, or our personal energy levels. Calm people, however, have learned to work with these natural cycles instead of fighting against them.
As Lao Tzu wisely observed, “Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.”
My friend Elena, who runs her own successful business while maintaining an enviable sense of peace, explained it to me this way: “I used to try to be equally productive every single day. Now I recognize that I have natural ebbs and flows of energy, just like the tides or the seasons. I plan my most challenging work for when I naturally have more energy, and I allow myself periods of rest without guilt.”
How to Practice Natural Alignment:
Start by observing your natural energy patterns. When do you naturally feel most alert? When do you tend to feel more tired? Work with these patterns rather than against them.
Spend time in nature regularly, even if it’s just a short walk in a local park. Notice the unhurried pace at which trees grow and seasons change.
Practice patience. Ralph Waldo Emerson advised, “Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.” Not everything needs to happen immediately.
I’ve incorporated this habit by aligning my work schedule with the seasons—taking on more projects in spring and fall when my energy is naturally higher, and allowing for more reflective, planning work in winter. The difference in my stress levels has been remarkable.
Bringing The Calm Life Method Into Your Daily Life
Now that we’ve explored the five habits of super calm people, you might be wondering: “How do I actually put this into practice in my busy life?”
The beauty of the Calm Life Method is that it doesn’t require you to dramatically change your external circumstances. You don’t need to quit your job, move to a mountain retreat, or spend hours meditating (though a little meditation certainly helps!).
Instead, this method is about making small shifts in how you approach the life you already have. It’s about changing your relationship with everyday experiences.
Start by choosing just one of these habits to focus on this week. Perhaps you’ll practice the mindful breathing technique whenever you feel stress arising. Or maybe you’ll work on accepting the natural chaos of life when things don’t go according to plan.
As Paramahansa Yogananda wisely said, “Remain calm, serene, always in command of yourself. You will then find out how easy it is to get along.”
Remember that becoming a calmer person isn’t about never feeling stressed or upset—it’s about developing the ability to return to a state of peace more quickly when you do get knocked off balance.
The Calm Life Method isn’t a destination; it’s a journey of continuous practice. Some days you’ll find it easier than others, and that’s perfectly okay. What matters is your commitment to returning to these habits again and again.
A Personal Invitation
I invite you to join me in practicing the Calm Life Method. Imagine a life where you no longer feel at the mercy of external circumstances—where you have the tools to create an inner sense of peace regardless of what’s happening around you.
This isn’t about becoming passive or emotionless. On the contrary, calm people often experience life more fully because they aren’t constantly distracted by stress and worry. They have the mental and emotional space to truly engage with the people and experiences that matter most.
As you incorporate these five habits into your daily life, you’ll likely notice changes beyond just feeling calmer. Many people report improved relationships, better decision-making, enhanced creativity, and even better physical health.
The journey toward a calmer life begins with a single step—a single breath, a moment of acceptance, a conscious choice. Which habit will you begin with today?
The Calm Life Method: Key Takeaways
To help you remember and implement these habits, here’s a quick summary of the Calm Life Method:
- Accept the natural chaos of life – Understand that unpredictability is part of life, not a flaw in your planning
- Use the power of breath – Practice mindful breathing to reset your nervous system during stressful moments
- Let go of rigid expectations – Embrace flexibility and focus on what you can control
- Embrace your freedom to choose – Recognize that you always have options in how you respond
- Align with nature’s rhythm – Work with your natural energy cycles and practice patience
These five habits don’t require special equipment, expensive retreats, or hours of your time. They simply ask you to approach your existing life with a slightly different mindset—one that creates space for calm to naturally emerge.
In a world that often celebrates busyness and constant stimulation, choosing calm is a radical act of self-care. It’s also one of the greatest gifts you can give to those around you.
After all, calmness is contagious, just like stress. When you practice these habits, you not only transform your own experience of life—you also contribute to creating a more peaceful world around you.
I’d love to hear which of these habits resonates most with you, or if you have additional calm-creating practices that have worked in your life. The journey toward a calmer life is one we’re all on together, and we can learn so much from each other’s experiences.
Here’s to creating islands of calm in our often stormy world—one breath, one choice, one moment at a time.”